Saturday, April 21, 2012
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Things I Am Done Seeing
Things I am done seeing as someone's profile picture on social networking websites and dating sites (not like I visit the second sort, but I remember those well enough):
Any amount of exposed flesh of a man. Put your shirt back on, this is not a flesh-bazaar. There are more than women on Facebook. (I almost typed fleshbook, God help me now that I put that out there it'll either be a website soon or is and I will now go make myself aware of it.) Even if someone waved a wand and all the men but you disappeared, not everyone would be interested in seeing you shirtless, and quite frankly... at least one of those ladies would be offended.
Money, people holding money next to their face/partially in front of their face/in their fist, cars (without the owner OR with a "model" on it), phones, guns, etc... in short POSSESSIONS OR CURRENCY. These do not make you cool, or convince anyone you are rich/successful... any idiot can go cash his paycheck and flash it for a pic. I am sure these things impress someone else, but I am not him.
People kissing. I am sure you love/are interested in them but... I want to see your face so I can see if I know you. Hard to do that when someone is busy trying to suck it off your skull.
People with multiple other people of the same gender. I realize you like your girlfriends. That's cool... so which person in that picture are you? Kinda want to know who I am adding, or who I am supposed to be considering adding.
People trying to look "hard," or express pain... pretty much anything but happiness, or of course a nice neutral look that does not seem sour. Look, I realize that you think you are gangster, or a thug, or feel so much internal pain that you cannot express it all but are trying as hard as you can, or perhaps when I look at your picture I am supposed to think you are artistic or neat. Neat, artistic things are, as my opinion goes, spontaneous. Never planned and controlled. Sure, you can plan to take a picture of tomorrow morning's sunrise, but Mother Nature may well flip you the bird and you'll wake up to clouds.
Children. Not pictures of your children, heavens no. Kids are great. Kids on Facebook, not so much. Used to be that you had to be 18 to have an account. Now it's 16, if I hear correctly. Logan will never know the myriad wonderful and hideous things Facebook can introduce you to until he is 18. Unless he does it behind my back of his own accord, then I will ground the holy hell out of him. Promise.
There are exceptions to every rule, but in general... save all of these pictures for your photo albums. When I look at your profile picture it had better say something genuine and honest about who you are, what you believe, or what you stand for. If you honestly stand for any of the things I mentioned... more power to you. Not to pick on any particular one too much, but if money is truly so important to you that you need to have it as part of your profile picture, grand. But I do not want to know you. Odds are that if money is that important to you... you are going to bitch like crazy when you don't have it. Further, it is no lie: more money more problems.
In short: be you, but be prepared not to be offended when I reject your friend request.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
My rock is a mountain
I could have never made it through these days without Zach. He has been my mind, my heart, my nutritionist, my cane, my shield, my nurse, my everything. I have never met a man so dedicated to any one thing as he is dedicated to me and now our son. He is my mountain. He is strong and he holds through even the worst of my moments and he is there to celebrate any joy I feel and make it like the whole world is with me cheering. He holds me up and makes me see that it's not so bad and when I just can't see he steers me blindly into any good thing he can find until I can find it. He has refused to give up on me. He has barely left my side and I thank every moment he is near.
If there is a person who deserves the world and everything it has to offer it, it is my husband. I am lucky beyond lucky to have him by my side and I hope that someday I can prove myself to him that I can be there as he as been here for me.
I love you, Zach. More than I can say.
If there is a person who deserves the world and everything it has to offer it, it is my husband. I am lucky beyond lucky to have him by my side and I hope that someday I can prove myself to him that I can be there as he as been here for me.
I love you, Zach. More than I can say.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Not So Fragile
Tonight Amber pumped 1/2 teaspoon. If you are blissfully unaware, remain so. I went to take the syringe down to NICU for Logan. Upon arriving I was asked if I wanted to assist the nurse with an exam on Logan.

Previously I'd been so afraid that he might be too delicate and would not even think of touching him... I wiped his bottom, took his temperature, and he held my hand (actually, barely held my pinky)while the nurse checked his lungs, heart, etc...
Not so fragile as I thought.
Previously I'd been so afraid that he might be too delicate and would not even think of touching him... I wiped his bottom, took his temperature, and he held my hand (actually, barely held my pinky)while the nurse checked his lungs, heart, etc...
Not so fragile as I thought.
Friday, May 20, 2011
One of Those Days
Ever have one of those really amazing days, but then you get home and crash? You rode too many highs and now the lows are hitting like fast-forward Mike Tyson. Wish you memorized his pattern during your friend's turn now, doncha? And you promised to do all this stuff... including things that involved leaving the house. Heck, let's not shoot for the stars: you spoke of things that involved getting off the couch. That's just silly. Oh well. You said you'd do laundry (even if you did not fold it). You said you'd do dishes (even if you did not do the hand-wash-only stuff). You promised a pregnant woman apples... and apples she shall have, dammit! Just too bad WalMart has those pesky rules about pants, and shirts... clothes in general. Ugh. Motivation, you elusive jerk, where are you now that I need you?!
At the very least you got to call a little boy who was trying to put on some daddy pants "princess." Priceless stuff right there. Maybe one day the rest of the world will catch up to those of us who have integrity, a brain, a spine... Here we are, gods amongst jellyfish. And you know what the hell of it is? I am sick of not tossing the little freaks up on the beach and waiting for the sun to come out from behind that cloud...
Sizzle.
Sizzle.
Sizzle.
How's that learning curve treating you, Scyphozoa?
Start praying for high tide.
At the very least you got to call a little boy who was trying to put on some daddy pants "princess." Priceless stuff right there. Maybe one day the rest of the world will catch up to those of us who have integrity, a brain, a spine... Here we are, gods amongst jellyfish. And you know what the hell of it is? I am sick of not tossing the little freaks up on the beach and waiting for the sun to come out from behind that cloud...
Sizzle.
Sizzle.
Sizzle.
How's that learning curve treating you, Scyphozoa?
Start praying for high tide.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Everything I'm learning about parenting comes from Family Guy
Don't let your kid jump on the bed:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9JqLMG2vbk
Feed your kid before they feed themselves (never let them have soda):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqTH5ll1StI
Answer your kid the first time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNkp4QF3we8&feature=related
Baby gates save lives:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm9ExcTOhsY
Child obesity is a serious problem:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBsAxbQ6m2U
Kids are easily entertained:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PD8W2OogE0
Babies don't like formula as much as breast milk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn572zrAgHM&playnext=1&list=PL1434071F0CA74CA5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9JqLMG2vbk
Feed your kid before they feed themselves (never let them have soda):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqTH5ll1StI
Answer your kid the first time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNkp4QF3we8&feature=related
Baby gates save lives:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm9ExcTOhsY
Child obesity is a serious problem:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBsAxbQ6m2U
Kids are easily entertained:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PD8W2OogE0
Babies don't like formula as much as breast milk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn572zrAgHM&playnext=1&list=PL1434071F0CA74CA5
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Welcoming the second trimester.
So I had my second prenatal today. My dr seems pleased with my progress. The baby's heart rate has been steady in the 160s. I have yet to gain any weight but my stomach is getting bigger. If you hang around me you'd notice, but some people just think I'm just fatter.
I gave up wearing my regular jeans. They were pinchy and I get bloated and it's REALLY pinchy. I was just going to buy bigger jeans but someone gave me maternity jeans and caprees so I figured they are free, may as well use them. I feel kinda weird in them and they don't fit me right, but I'm sure I'll grow into them.
My favorite thing about being in the second trimester is I'm not as nauseous and tired. I still get pretty sleepy, but it's controllable. I have a new issue, though. I get dizzy if I move too fast or get up fast. Easily avoidable, really.
My mom, my best friend, Zach, and my dr have a running bet. My dr thinks I'm going to have a boy. Mom and Charlie are going with girl. Zach thinks it'll be a girl. I think it's going to be a girl (when I have dreams about the baby, it's always a girl). I will officially find out on April 12th! I am thinking about telling people via home made cards.I know it's kind of dorky but I love sending real mail and getting mail (it's such a dying art). Zach and I are going to look at stationary tomorrow!!
=^,^=
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